Counseling For The Heart: How Not To Be Fooled The Same Way Twice

During my college years, I fell in love with a guy named Chuck. He was friendly and great in the beginning, always trying to make me laugh. However, he also gave me the biggest heartbreak of my life when he cheated on me with one of my best girlfriends. Worse, my little heart could not take the infidelity, and I had what felt like a heart attack that day.

I could still remember the incident as if it happened yesterday. I was on my way to Chuck’s dorm after my classes because we were supposed to go on a weekend trip. When I knocked on the door, though, my friend Jaimie answered it. Chuck tried to excuse his way out of it, but the defiant look on Jaimie’s face said everything I should have known from the start.

I returned to my dorm immediately, blinded with tears. While I could not recall how many hours I sobbed on the floor, I remembered when my chest constricted, and an ache began to spread on my left arm. Luckily, my roommate returned on time, and she got to call 911 and brought me to the hospital.

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Once I woke up, the doctor explained that I experienced “broken heart syndrome.” It often occurred when someone – typically women – dealt with extreme emotional stress. And in some occasions, it could make the heart give out, albeit temporarily.

The entire time that the doctor was talking, I thought, “That’s so spot-on!” The breakup and the cheating put me in too much distress, which might have caused me to experience the symptoms of a heart attack.

I stayed in the hospital for a couple of days more due to my parents’ insistence to have me thoroughly checked. During that time, too, Chuck tried to contact me, saying he’s so worried about my welfare. But after the medical scare that I went through, I couldn’t take him back. Besides, there would always be that nagging thought that he could cheat on me again, and I feared going down the same path.

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In case you were in a similar situation as I was, here’s how you can ensure that your precious heart will not be fooled the same way twice.

Rein In Your Emotions

The first thing you must do is to avoid wearing your heart on your sleeve. If the split was still fresh, it’s highly possible that you were still in love with your ex. That’s okay – there’s nothing you could do to change it right away. However, it would be best to keep the guy from knowing about it because he might take advantage of that fact.

Although it might sound too extreme, you could think of cheating guys as hyenas. They would prey on you and attack your weak points. Hence, if you could not protect yourself from them, you’re practically toast.

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Make The Man Earn Your Love And Trust

I would not put it against you if you thought you could still get back with your ex. Even if it’s not for me, I understood that some women might be willing to forgive and forget for the sake of love. But before you accept that man again, I would suggest making him earn your trust and love back.

You see, giving your ex both freely could never help you find out if his intentions were pure this time. Still, if you made him work hard to regain your love and trust, his efforts could indicate if he’s worth another chance.

Give The Man The Boot If You No Longer Want Him

Cheating had always been a serious matter, especially if you were on the receiving end of it. As I mentioned above, some women could be more forgiving than others. They could say, “Oh, it happened once. He promised not to do it again, so I’ll take him back.” However, if you no longer believed in that crappy line, tell the man no right away.

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One telltale sign that you didn’t want to do anything with the guy was that you cared for him but no longer wanted to see him. That care or love might remain for a while, but it’s not worth risking your heart again if your head didn’t agree with it.

Final Thoughts

What happened to me became a hot topic for years among my inner circle. My friends could still not fathom how a man who was loved so much by his girlfriend could cheat on her with one of her best friends. I sometimes wondered about it as well, but I merely charged everything to experience.

It was a testament that love could kill – and I genuinely thought I would kick the bucket when I had the “broken heart syndrome.” But I guess God still had other plans for me, such as sharing my story to the world to save other women from doom.

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